Thursday, October 10, 2013

Top Ten Things I've Learned


  1. All dogs think they are invisible when they close their eyes to sneak into a room.
  2. No banana candy taste like bananas, yet all banana candy taste the same.
  3. If you cup your hands in front of a small child's mouth, it's an invitation to barf.
  4. One should not drink vinegar and then a glass of milk, no matter how sweet the cash offer is.
  5. That if you can't remember the password on your sister's alarm system, four policemen, three fireman and a first response team will all fit in her living room.
  6. That if you stuff your bra, your boobs will fall to the floor when the lights go out.
  7. That there is an age where it doesn't matter how pretty you are, you're still getting the ticket.
  8. Hospital staff don't like it when you steel gurneys to have hall races.
  9. You really should always, and I mean always. have on underwear when you wear a toga.
  10. Burnt orange flavored cinnamon rolls are not an acceptable gift after you've forgotten someones birthday.